God Does Answer Prayers

Scott's paycheck went in the bank and wasn't enough to cover the bills. At 4:30 this morning I was praying for God to send enough money some way to get us through to the next paycheck. At 10:30 I checked my email and found that the check for one of my retirement funds that I was cashing out is in the mail! Once again, consider the lilies. Thank you Lord.

Casey is 20 weeks - half way to baby. She looks so healthy and happy.  As you can see, we still have plenty of snow at my house. The driveway is covered with about a 1 inch sheet of ice. It is more slippery than ever. We are hoping we will get some rain to speed up the melting.

I had such a great time with the girls this weekend. They really are the most fun a person can have. Kristen may possibly leave the Christian school and start homeschooling. I really enjoyed learning with Casey when she was homeschooling. I did not enjoy having to be the bad guy who made sure she did her work.

Anaphylaxis has been under pretty good control for the past few days, but the racing heart and hip pain continue. I finally broke down and called my internist this morning to see what can be done with the hip. It is getting very hard to walk. It is extremely painful. I am waiting on the nurse to call back - Dr. Patel wants an MRI but the insurance may not allow it. It seems that prednisone is especially hard on the ball part of the hip joint, and since I have been on Prednisone for 9 months it could have done a lot of damage to that bone. I was already compromised before all the steroids due to osteopenia.

As I already said earlier, God answers prayers. It isn't time for me to be well or God would have already healed me. I get discouraged, and I know all of you who pray for me sometimes get discouraged too. We all have to remember that I am where God wants for me to be and he will not give me more than I can bear. On days when I am having a pity party, please refer me back to this post. :)

Waiting

I know there is a divine purpose for my life, but today is one of those days when I just want to get on with it. Some days are a struggle, and this is a big one. It is one thing to know there is a reason, but it is very hard to keep faith daily that living this way is bringing good to someone. I don't see any way that I am blessing anyone like this.

I am continuing to have severe hip pain. I keep putting off calling my doctor because he has already told me he wants an MRI. That may seem a simple request, but to me it means the total exhaustion of preparing for and making a trip to the hospital for the test, not mentioning the expense. I plan on toughing it out for a few more days if I can by alternating heat and cold and increasing my arthritis meds.

My heart is also back to beating inappropriately. Today is a pity party day.

I did finish a receiving blanket for the grandson. I haven't been doing much because I am back on a sleeping jag. At least if I can go to sleep my hip doesn't hurt.

I finished book 7 of 2011 - Big Cherry Holler. It is a nice light read - what my friend Kay calls fluff. It is set in Big Stone Gap, VA. I read this one as a actually paper and ink book; a loan from my mom.

I have really enjoyed talking to friends the past couple of days - thanks Louann and Jane for making my days brighter.

Thanks also to all of those who continue to send cards to brighten my days. Knowing someone cares is a comfort.

Short Lived Improvement

The lower pulses didn't last for long. I got so tired yesterday getting ready to go to my parent's house. It takes very little for me to be totally exhausted. Since then my pulse has been racing again.

My driveway is still thick with ice and more snow is on the way. This year is the longest stretch of a completely iced driveway I have had in the 16 years I have lived here.  In 1999 it was frozen for the entire month of January.

Feeling a Touch Better

After the horrid day of repeating anaphylaxis, I am starting to feel  little better. My pulse is a little slower. Hopefully my heart has reset itself.

I finished book number 6 of 2011 - In the Company of Others by Jan Karon. It is the latest Father Tim novel. I enjoyed it very much, but would suggest beginning at the first of the series rather than starting with this book if you have never read any of the Mitford series. I love that local places are mentioned often in the books, since Mitford is actually Blowing Rock, NC.

I have finished an outfit for the grandson. A knitted onesie with a matching hat and socks.

I haven't been able to do much spinning due to pain in my hips, knees and feet, but when I can I am spinning up some alpaca fleece for a hat and gloves for Scott. He has certainly needed warm knits this winter. Alpaca is the warmest fiber I have found. Much too hot for me.

A Rough Stretch

Three Epipens in 24 hours! This is not my idea of a good day!

Quiet Day

I finished book 5 - it is a knitting book but has lots of knitting history in addition to patterns from 1600s - 1800s. It is very interesting - to me anyway :).

All is quiet here on the hill. The street has thawed but the driveway is still ice. It is a very grey day.

My heart continues to beat, as Dr. Haddadin puts it. When I laugh at him and tell him it is supposed to beat he tells me it is inappropriate. I am inappropriate. Basically as long as I stay very still I have a normal heartbeat, but any activity speeds it to an inappropriate level. I do just a little work, sort a load of laundry, empty dishwasher, etc and then have to lie down until my heart settles. It is an annoyance. A year ago I bounced around doing anything I pleased. If only I had known this would happen there are so many things I would have done.

My IA has been stable for the past few days. I have had itching and flushing but no major issues. I am thankful for this at least.

Five more months until the grandson is due. I am so anxious for his arrival. Five months isn't usually very long but in this instance it seems like forever.

Finishing Things

I finished book 4 of 2011. It had a great twist at the end.

I finished the knitting on my big blue sweater. Once it dries I just have to weave in the ends and sew on the buttons.

I am continuing to have a very rapid heartbeat. I get out of breath and shaky very quickly - not sure what is going on, but hoping it goes away soon.



Living in a Snow Globe

I'm tired of living in this snow globe. My entire 8 hours out of the house today was out in a bigger snow globe. Yuck - I am so ready for summer. Listen to me being a normal person complaining about the weather. In reality the weather is very unimportant in my life.

From where I left off yesterday - I had another anaphylaxis yesterday afternoon. I did ok and recovered fairly quickly.

My immunology appointment was unimpressive, at least to me. We bumped my prednisone dose back up and he added a sleep aid for when I am on the high doses to hopefully help with my exhaustion from sleepless nights. Dr. Krish was concerned that I am averaging 1 anaphylaxis per week, which is up quite a bit from before the holiday season. We are going to taper the prednisone down very, very slowly if possible.

While we were eating lunch, I got a whiff of perfume. Some lady had been seated behind me with perfume or scented lotion. Almost immediately I was coughing and congested - Daddy thought I was choking. Thankfully cough and congestion was as far as it progressed. I am still hoarse from it, and when the Cardiology resident listened to my lungs he thought I was a smoker. I honestly cannot understand why people insist on wearing that stuff. It will be quite some time before I am brave enough to venture into a public place again.

My cardiology appointment was also unimpressive to me. My heart rate continues to be high along with high blood pressures and frequent Nitroglycerin doses. Dr. Haddadin says this is damaging my heart. He once again increased my calcium channel blocker dosage  - this time to the absolute maximum daily dose. If this does not work, we have to look at other options (not medication). I cannot use any other medication because of my IA, so that means I may have to have the ablation of the sinus node and placement of a pacemaker. I am praying that the medicine works, but if not, Scott and I do have a friend who had the procedure done and does very well. He is also much younger than me.

One last rant - why does a resident ask me what causes IDIOPATHIC anaphylaxis????  A resident should know the definition of idiopathic. GEEZ!

I am listening to The Black Echo by Michael Connelly. It is a murder mystery. The characters were tunnel rats in Vietnam. I am enjoying it very much.

On the knitting needles - a blue cardigan for me, a pair of blue lace socks, also for me, and a green baby blanket for the grand baby.

Hoping for a sunny tomorrow!

Winter Blues

I haven't left this little hill since New Year's Eve. Only 4-wheel drive vehicles can get up my hill, so I am pretty isolated right now. Tomorrow I have appointments with my doctors, so I will be getting out of the house. It seems a little sad to look forward to a doctor's appointment just to get out of the house.

With the prospect of leaving the house I return to my fear of exposure to a trigger for my anaphylaxis. You never know when you are out of your controlled environment when you may get accidentally exposed. People have no idea how easily they can make someone very sick. Another patient wearing perfume or scented lotions may send me into anaphylaxis.

Last night I was very tired from pushing myself to do more during the day. I have been told to try and build my stamina, and I have made slight improvement. I can now empty the dishwasher all at once without resting. That is my max at this point, but is certainly better than resting twice during an emptying. I actually made a pot of soup, spent time writing checks for payments on my many medical bills, and did a couple of loads of laundry also yesterday. The fatigue did sent me into anaphylaxis again, so once again I took a step backward. I am very weak and tired today - usually post anaphylaxis stuff.

I continue to be so very thankful for my wonderful family. Without them I would not survive. 

I also want to thank the parents of the Mastin twins, who are helping me with some of my PICC line supplies. Every small thing means so much. They lost their Great-grandfather Junior Martin this week. Please remember their family in your thoughts and prayers.

Snowy Day

Snowy days are pretty, but they are not my favorite. Snow complicates everyone elses lives.

This week has been pretty much my normal ups and downs - nothing out of the ordinary to report.

I finished book 3 of 2011 - The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. It was a great audiobook. I liked it so much that we are watching the miniseries on Netflix.

OOPS!

Yesterday was a good day. Casey and Kristen were here. We had 4 foot subs for lunch. I finished book #2 of 2011 - The Granny Diaries by Adair Lara.

UNTIL...

I got accidentally exposed to a scented body lotion last night.

From that point on it has been rough. Congestion, mucus, cough, flushing, nausea, reflux, and all the other wonderful things that make up Idiopathic Anaphylaxis (IA). It is so frustrating that someone making a small mistake can send my body into such a frenzy. I feel so bad when something like this happens. It is terrible for everyone to have to be so careful, and I feel so helpless because my body does these things.

Needless to say I was up all night. I still feel like my internal organs are shaking, and I still have mucus in my chest.  I really just want to curl up into a ball and cry. I get angry with my body - I hate not being in control.

Scott stayed home with me today since I still don't feel stable. Not only does IA disrupt our lives, but also the lives of his coworkers. Today is pity party day - I'm going to go put on my big girl panties and get over it.

The First Day

At some point in my life I was told that whatever you do on the first day of the year is what you will do al l year long. I have made a point of knitting, spinning and scrapbooking today - just in case it is true.

My birthday party tired me out, but I'm doing pretty well.  I finished my first book of 2011 - Blind Faith by Peggy Poe Stern. It was a birthday gift from my friend Kay. I started it right before midnight last night and finshed by 3PM. It was a terrific read! If you are interested you can purchase a copy at http://peggypoestern.tripod.com/ I have loved all of her books except the ghost story book. I guess they just aren't my cup of tea.