Tuesday, November 8, 2011

A Long Hard Journey

Lots has happened since I have blogged. Louann and I went to the beach. The weather was perfect. We ate good food, laughed and enjoyed the time by the ocean. I had one anaphylaxis but we dealt with it and were in control. All was well until the trip home.

We stopped to eat lunch and when I was getting back in the van, my foot slipped off the running board and hit the pavement. I was being careful and did not fall but felt my leg snap. Louann helped me get the rest of the way in the van and we went to an emergency room. We were in Columbia, SC; still about 4 hours from home.

I got checked in and got some pain medications and x-rays to confirm that my right tibia was broken (shin bone). The doctor gave me enough pain medication to get me loaded back in the van (thanks to Louann and a very nice nurse). Louann got my leg stabilized in the back seat and away she drove. We stopped on the way and got my pain medications filled and she got me home in record time, even though she was coming down with a severe respiratory infection and was losing her voice and coughing.

When we got back to my house my family was here to help get me inside. It was a very scary and painful process but we did it. We got me bedded down on the couch and I stayed there until Monday when I got loaded in the truck to go to orthopedics. Scott was a trouper pulling bed pan duty and doing total care. Louann loaned us her wheelchair which saved us.

The loading and unloading at orthopedics was also a trial. My leg was splinted but I could feel the bones move. The doctor decided to admit me and do surgery on Tuesday, November 1, since I was in pain, my stress level was so high and could cause me to go in to  anaphylaxis, and since it was over a 1 hour drive home. BCBS has determined that they will not pay since it was not medically necessary. I wish they could have lived in my body during the loading and unloading to see if it was necessary, or in the body of my husband and father trying to move my morbidly obese body. Since I have broken a major bone, my diagnosis has been downgraded from osteopenia to true osteoporosis.

On Tuesday I had surgery to place a rod inside my tibia to stabilize and strengthen the bone. All went very well. I came home on Friday. I am not allowed to put any weight on my right leg, so I am wheelchair bound for 6-8 weeks. I am having physical therapy at home, doing exercises, and am basically at the mercy of those around me. Thankfully I am well cared for even if I am unworthy of the love I receive.

I am truly amazed once again at the kindness and generosity of those around me. The care my husband and family gives me is the most amazing gift. In all my years of nursing I have rarely witnessed love like I have. My best friend has grieved thinking she could have prevented my accident while I grieve wishing I could have prevented her illness. My neighbors have provided food. Nurses and internal medicine residents gave me so much encouragement and support. Engineering helped think up ways to make my life easier. Physical therapy is teaching me independence and helping me overcome my fear. I was given a gift of a wheelchair. My husband has worked day and night building ramps and platforms to make our house more accessible by wheelchair. I could go on and on...

I may be confined to a chair and in pain, but I am one of the luckiest people I know. I always have said my illness is for a purpose, and good will come from it, but I didn't know that part of this accident would be to show me how much I am loved and that there are good and kind people in this world. We were  never promised a pain free, easy life. Our journeys are going to have bumps because this is not heaven. Some bumps are hard to handle, but I will overcome this. It could have been much worse, and I am still able to use my arms and left leg.

Physical therapy thinks boredom may become an issue for me. I have my knitting and spinning when I am able, and I have books. I have finished 2 since I have been home from the hospital. Sarah's Patchwork really hit home for me. It has issues of dealing with physical disabilities and how those issues can be blessings in disguise. It is also a western pioneer woman book - one of my favorite genres at the moment. There is a  touch of romance but it is mainly inspirational. I read this on my Kindle app on my iPod touch.

The second book I finished was The Choice by Nicholas Sparks. I am usually a huge fan of his but was disappointed with this book. I count on a certain type of ending in his books and this one was a surprise. I only rate this a 3 star. I listened to this one from Audible. I imagine most Nicholas Sparks fans would enjoy this one.

I finished a pair of socks before we left for the beach and have not completed any other knitting projects. It is hard to knit while taking pain medications. I tend to nod off easily too.

I do ask for prayers for strength and for pain relief. As always, I ask for God's will in my life. God will heal me in his time and in his way. He is still working on me, and we all know I need lots of work.


Louann said...

I pray for you daily my friend and I am so proud of you, for not giving up and letting this bad situation defeat you. You are one of the strongest people that i know and I am honnored to call you my Best friend in this whole world. I look forward to seeing you moving about freely and walking without care. I will be there to see you soon and we will laugh the day away, with all of our crazy tales and stories!!!

Bekka said...

Oh, Cindy! You are SO worthy of all the love and kindness you receive.

I don't remember who gave me the analogy, but I love it then and still do. In your lifetime, you make deposits into an account. Not deposits of money, but of kindness and compassion and love. You are now at a point where you need to make withdrawals from your account. And it's because you've been so kind, compassionate and loving to others that you are able to collect these so richly now.

Thinking of you and hoping you feel much better soon!