I am extremely tired. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and another today. Since we are approximately 1 1/2 hours from Johnson City, this makes long days. Each doctor's visit takes more money, which sinks me deeper into the hole. With the addition of the last medication it pushed my medication costs to almost $500 per month ( and that is a good month with no extras). My long term disability review is in progress but is waiting for more records. I am still working to get all the paper work needed for my social security disability hearing.
I would love to be at work. All the people coming and going make life so much better. Boredom and loneliness overtake me some days, especially dark and dreary days like today. If I could get well there is so much I want to do.
Other than just a tiny bit of secret knitting nothing going on in the craft world. I have lost interest in most things other than reading and TV. I watched a few Christmas movies but real life just does not turn out the way it does in those movies.
I am looking forward to Kristen spending a few days with me. She will be a bright spot in my week. Casey and Bentley won't be back until Christmas. I miss the kids so much. I wish they all could be here all the time.
Thanks to Carol and Angie for supper last night. The taco soup was great!
Please pray for God to show me his will. I would love to return to work somewhere - where ever I am supposed to be, but I need to be well. If I am not getting well, I really need the long term disability check to be restarted. We would not be able to pay bills now if not for the generosity of family and friends. It is really hard for me emotionally to not be contributing to the family income. It isn't fair for me to be dragging everyone into this dark hole of debt with me. I really need some sign that everything is going to be ok. Please ask God just to give me some hope again that everything is going to work out.