Saturday, March 23, 2013

Vile Disease

I hate this disease. I'm tired of my skin burning like fire with an itch that is almost like pain. Tired of swelling and nausea. Tired of my airway closing so that I cannot breathe. Tired of the drugs I must take to keep this beast at bay.

I'm tired of feeling bad for the doctor's who cannot cure me. Tired of the giving money to hospitals and doctors and mostly, the pharmacy.

I'm tired of not being able to sleep or not being able to wake up - never just normal.

I am tired of the weight I have gained since this beast came to live in my body. Tired of the belly. Tired of the double chin.

I'm tired of living with a fear that if I go outside my home I may be exposed to something that will cause the beast to raise it's head. Tired of being afraid for anyone outside my family to come in my house.
Mostly, I'm tired of not being able to work - not even take care of my house.

 I'm tired of it all.

So I escape. I take trips in my mind because my body won't allow me to go in life. I am just home from Scotland because I have been reading (listening to)...

Dragonfly in Amber. I really cannot convey how good this book is. It is a 40+ hour listen and you don't want to miss a minute. It is superb - really.
My latest history obsession is the Borgias. We watched season one of Borgia on Netflix. When we watch something historical I like to read some of the history to see how much of the show is true. The Borgia family is more interesting than the Tudors.

 Speaking of the Tudors...
I just read the Anne Boleyn Collection. This is a very informative piece documenting why the common conception of Anne Boleyn is wrong. There is research showing that Anne did not commit adultery and therefore her execution was purely a set up by Henry VIII and Thomas Cromwell. This is interesting for any English history fans, but if you aren't into Tudor history, skip it. You would be bored.

Last Saturday, Bentley took his first fire engine ride. We met my brother, Mike, at the fire department. Bentley was interested in the fire engine, but when Mike turned on the lights he wasn't very impressed. After his ride, he wanted to stay in the engine. He kept trying to get Mike and Daddy to put him back in there and would point at the driver's seat wanting to ride. He makes me smile. 

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